New year… hmm.
Honestly, it almost feels the same as every other year, ups and downs. But if I really think about it, this year was better than the last.
As with every year, and every day, sometimes I did bad, sometimes I did good. Nothing new.
I lost my menstruation this year, and… I think I’ve accepted it but it's not the final destination yet. The same way I accepted losing my strong feet and gaining metal plates and 7 long ass screws. Both are cool in their own way... but accepting it wasn’t easy at first.
The people around me are mostly great...kind, patient, most of them I believe are good souls.
My husband, especially, had to handle most of my nonsense, that includea my fam and friends, oh the ExCo gang dealt my nonsense a lot, imma say sorry raya nanti yep2.
It feels really good to be able to express myself. To have deep talks.
To understand more things, improve together, fight together (just to survive), understanding each other, play games together.
It feels good, man.
I love hearing your stories and seeing your progress.
Some of you are climbing out of critical situations.
Some of you are facing even more problems and feeling lost.
Some of you are starting new journeys.
Some of you are staying comfortably where you are.
And some of you just… disappeared.
Watching all of this makes me want to stay. To see what happens next this year.
My goal isn’t anything grand.
I just want to witness your journeys.
It reassures me.
I’ll remember you somewhere along the way.
And I’ll try to improve myself too, so maybe, one day, you can be proud of me.
I'll be 30 this year, who would know I have possibly ro reach to this age. Bruh~ IM OLDDD T-T. I just wanna a good job and be stable. That's all. I want to grow around people who wants to grow with me. I want to see people work together around me, I want to be in control of myself.
I hope to stay Malaysian while being in Singapore. I used to not care about it untill I'm scared if I lose my value and identity as Malaysian. I'm Singaporean too.
I want the coexistence.
But I’ve been Malaysian for almost 30 years.
Those values shaped how I speak, how I care, how I endure, how I survive.
I want to keep that part of me.
I want to share it.
I want to carry it with me until the day I die.
I'll be more focus on writing this year to note for the future.